Race Condition Brunch Reviews

The Dish Cafe (Green Lake)

Sat, 15 Mar 2025 00:00:00 +0000

I was post-undergraduate when I first patronized a restaurant that could feasibly be considered a diner. The police procedural dramas I watched (and re-re-rewatched) throughout secondary school heavily featured diners, so I was aware of the concept and of its importance to American culture, but alas, the opportunity to eat at one never presented itself to me.

Fast forward to the 30th year of my life, and I’ve patronized ones of them! Yes, ones, because I haven’t yet crossed above 10, even if you include IHOP and Waffle House. This is unsurprising if you consider that greasy food makes me rather queasy. But don’t let my relative inexperience or negative bias persuade you that I am unopinionated.

Pre-brunch

But first, let’s set the stage with the pre-brunch run. (We all know the brunch is the real main event at Race Condition Brunching.)

The conditions on this day winnowed our brave group down. The first 90 minutes of this run were plagued by 15-20mph consistent head-/cross-winds and its associated ~15 degrees of windchill, plus 35mph gusts and intermittent rain, hereafter referred to as water bullets. Ethan W., Jordan, and I were the only souls brave and dumb enough to meet at the start line.

Leg 1 began at Roosevelt with a deceptively tame segment around part of Green Lake. This smooth start was chased by the classic 80th street up-and-down before dropping to Golden Gardens via stairs. The route then hugged the water around south, gently cooked us on the uphill of Stone Way, and took us back around a quarter of Green Lake. We lost Jordan coming down from Golden Gardens, but we did pick up Nick and Chandra before starting Leg 2. To my great relief, the wind mellowed significantly at this point.

Leg 2 was a repeat of my last brunch review: the classic full Green Lake loop, run anti-clockwise, i.e., the only correct way.

I think we all sighed heavily with relief upon reaching brunch, ready to drown the memory of that run in a glut of buttery pancake syrup. And so we did.

The Dish Cafe

First of all, how cute and quaint is this logo? I do wonder about why children are sitting in a dish, and what kind of dish is large enough, and why the children are singing, and why the lines of the dish run through the children… Regardless, cute logo.

Upon entering, we found a fireplace and I staked my claim on a chair next to it, ready to stick my frozen little fingers straight into the flame. Highly recommend this spot on a cold day. Even if you don’t choose this seat, the restaurant is fairly small, so you may end up at this table anyways, by an utter misapplication of the Pigeonhole Principle.

The Food

It was passable. 6/10 bye.

Ok fine I’ll elaborate. Beginning with my standard first-visit brunch dish: Eggs Benedict, Hollandaise on the side.

I order my Eggs Benedict like this so I can manage the amount of Hollandaise sauce masking the other elements. Fat covers an abundance of Eggs Benedict sins. But not here. Laid bare, you can see that they used rather anaemic eggs and generous slices of Canadian bacon. The English muffins were toasted to perfection. Unfortunately, the Canadian bacon bore a thin, slightly off-putting sheen, the Hollandaise came lumpy and slightly congealed, and everything was a little undersalted.

I was disappointed by the size of the fruit cup too, given it was a $6+ surcharge to substitute for the default potatoes: 6 slices/pieces of berry, 6 small pieces of melon, a thin slice of orange, and one grape.

Another dish on the table, within fork-stab distance: Nicko’s Scramble, containing sausage links, mushrooms, green onions, cheddar, and sour cream. This was a lot better. The eggs had a fairly smooth texture, only a bit overcooked. We were served a healthy serving of each topping. The sausage carried sufficient flavor. My nitpicks are that I would have preferred the cheese a bit more melted and the sausage chunks cut smaller. But it was, all told, a pleasant bite. The grilled potatoes were cooked through and pleasantly soft on the inside. They were, however, perhaps a little undersalted, underspiced, greasy, and lacking the crisp I desired.

Also on the table: Fruit Bowl, French Toast, Blueberry Pancakes, Scrambled Eggs, and Bacon. I stole a bite of almost everything. Very serviceable french toast and pancakes. No complaints were heard around the table.

Verdict

Brunch-y-ness: 🍳🥞🥓☕ yeah this qualifies as brunch

RCR-ness: 7/10

Food quality: 5/10 I guess it’s fine for a diner?

Portage Bay Cafe (Roosevelt)

Sat, 09 Nov 2024 00:00:00 +0000

To my great consternation, RCR insists upon calling our Saturday post-run meal “brunch.” I, a self-respecting ex-New-Yorker, have certain expectations of this hallowed meal. For a menu to qualify, I require at least one variation on Eggs Benedict, one overly inventive French toast dish, one questionable execution of a “specialty dish” such as Huevos Rancheros or Chicken and Waffles, one halfhearted attempt at a vegan option, and one non-orange mimosa.

Sadly, establishments which meet this very low bar are few and far between in Seattle (thanks Bezos). But scarcity doth make the heart grow more willing to settle. In Manhattan, I cross-reference reviews from a minimum of 3 sources before committing to a spot. Here, I am simply grateful for a place to spend $40 on hollandaise and syrup-soaked strawberries.

The Run (Setting the scene)

This was peak week, entailing a distance PR of 20 miles for a few of us. I was among this number. Leg 1 was one of the more challenging routes we have, with significant uphill sections as we climbed from campus to Golden Gardens and back.

We’d also had a particularly popular second leg, picking up 6 or so runners at Roosevelt for a victory lap (it was a Pyrrhic victory) around Green Lake.

I stumbled into the Portage Bay on 65th, feet numb, knees weak, back sore, pumped full of gels and electrolyte drinks – beyond ready to commandeer the reservation I’d had the foresight and fore-hunger to book ahead, given the size of the group.

The food

This is a brunch review after all.

I’ve been to 3 Portage Bay locations, and one of their greatest draws is consistency. What they lack in brilliance, they make up for with nearly 0 variance.

I’ve ordered my default dish, the Seattle Benedict, around 8-12 times now. I can’t say a single one of those instances has stood out to me, either for over- or under-performing. This Eggs Benny variation is modified only by replacing the Canadian ham with Dungeness crab and 2 slides of avocado. And always, always, always, the yolk is ever so slightly over, solidifying at the edges, the hollandaise is a bit bland but reasonably smooth, the English muffins are griddled to a pleasant char without excessive greasing, and a generous sprinkling of dill adorns the eggs.

Again, no genius to be found here, but little to complain of either.

The only thing unusual about this weekend’s experience was that I was dispatched to the berry bar to get my own $5 extra charge mini bowl of seasonal fruit, instead of relying on the somewhat stingy hand of a hurried kitchen team. Needless to say, I took the opportunity to practice my immigrant buffet-food-stacking skills. The berry bar, for the uninitiated, is an island in the restaurant upon which sit massive bowls of berries, nuts, whipped cream, and other suitable accoutrements for pancakes and french toast, each order of which includes a trip to said bar. It’s thoroughly unhygienic and gimmicky, but also kind of delightful.

In addition to my own orders, I am known to shamelessly try the food of anyone within fork-stab distance. In this case, Matthew and James were penalized for sitting too close to me.

Matthew had the biscuits and gravy. I never have particularly high hopes when a non-Southern institution attempts a decidedly Southern plate. This turned out exactly how I expected. That is to say, it was entirely serviceable but a bit hollow. The gravy was fairly tasty, yet simultaneously a little flat in flavor. I wished for a little more pepper and meatiness. The same comment can be made for the sausage itself. The biscuits they sat on were more or less satisfying, though.

James opted for shakshouka with added sausage. I’m extremely opinionated about shakshouka. I want to be nearly choked by cumin and paprika. A restaurant meant to appeal to all is, understandably, going to be rather gentle with its spices. Even with that in mind, I found this dish surprisingly timid for the name it aspires to.

Portage Bay’s potatoes lack the uneven crispy craggy profile I prefer (I’m on Team Smash Those Spuds), and I find the seasoning to be in keeping with the theme of subtlety, but they do have enough structure for me to use/abuse them as a scoop for the delicious hot sauce Portage Bay always has. Make sure you get a bottle of both varieties at your table.

Given all of this halfheartedness, it may be surprising that I am overall quite a great fan of Portage Bay Cafe for a large group. The menu is sufficiently expansive, with ample options for any common dietary restriction. The food is good enough that it is unlikely anybody feels cheated or disappointed, so long as they’ve set their expectations properly. The environment is lively, not rowdy, and about equally suited for a birthday brunch, a family outing, a hangover cure (or so I’m told), or even a post-long-run refuel.

If I have my way, RCR will be back. But I’m afraid I may be alone in my brunch stance.

Verdict

Brunch-y-ness: 🍳🥞🥓🧇🍵

RCR-ness: 6/10 (too sit-down, too basic, not bizarre enough)

Food quality: 8/10 (curved for Seattle, take what you can get)

Stone Way Cafe

Sat, 25 Jan 2020 00:00:00 +0000

🎵 Oh, I wannnna knowwww, have youu evah seeenn the rainnn… 🎵

To run in Seattle is to become that which most runners and lovers of the English language despise — moist. After all, Seattle rain does not come in downpours, but rather a level of precipitation somewhere between a mist and a light drizzle, not quite enough to cancel the run or move it inside to the dreaded treadmill.

A Play, in Three Acts

Act 1

The Seattle runner sets off, assured by his weather app that it will not, in fact, rain until later in the day. For a time, this prognostication holds true. The runner deftly avoids puddles, diverting around them and hurdling over them as the situation demands. The overcast weather is almost perfect, save the excessive humidity. The runner temporarily forgets the trials and tribulations winter running can bring and looks forward to another nine miles of excellent conditions.

Act 2

Mental fatigue starts to set in, and the runner loses focus and promptly steps in a puddle. Shoes and socks completely soaked, his mood instantly changes from contentment to dread. He contemplates turning around rather than running the next 7 miles in wet shoes. Just as the runner decides to stay the course and tough it out, it begins to rain. The runner runs through the rain, rather than being rained upon and is thoroughly dampened. Over the next couple of miles, he questions all life decisions that lead him to this point. The runner contemplates switching to Crossfit™.

Act 3

Acceptance. The runner has become the rain and the rain has become him. He no longer squints his eyes or notices the squishing of every footfall. He long ago forgot what dryness feels like. Puddles are inconsequential; the runner carves a straight path along his route, his stride even and unchanging. His world is gray and speckled with water droplets and has been for as long he can remember.

Until at last… it’s over. He reaches his destination and stops his run tracker. The runner seeks out food and a hot shower, in some order or another, grateful for the end of the run and already attempting to forget it so that next time it “doesn’t look like it’s going to rain on a Sunday morning,” he can venture out once more.

Stone Way Cafe

If RCR has a spiritual home, there’s a strong case to be made that it’s Stone Way Cafe. And this bar/coffeeshop/eatery in the heart of Fremont is the perfect place to end up after a rainy Sunday run. The line might be intimidating, but service is relatively quick. Brunching at Stone Way is always a good decision.

A group favorite is always their breakfast burritos. They’re closer in size to two meals than one, but after a long run they’re perfect. They pair perfectly with Valentina hot sauce. The sliced and toasted corn muffin is not to be missed.

They also have excellent desserts; this reviewer stole bites of some kind of pie and a bread pudding, and both were delicious.

There are no hip-hop onions nor rap-scallions in this establishment. It has a decidedly indie vibe, hosting local musicians many evenings. According to local news, Stone Way will be closed at some point to allow for high-density housing and shops to be built in its place — leading us to conclude that maybe gentrification isn’t so great. Don’t miss your chance to brunch here while you still can.

Verdict

Breakfast Burritos: 🌯/🌯
Runner friendliness: 5/5
Spiritual home of RCR-ness: ✔️

Endolyne Joe's

Sat, 29 Jun 2019 00:00:00 +0000

Bienvenue à la Nouvelle-Orléans et Endolyne Joe’s!

With marathon training in full swing, this week RCR ran the 20 miles from Golden Gardens to the west side of West Seattle. The weather was excellent and the views were almost amazing enough to make us forget that we were running for more than three hours. Almost.

Most of the route was on familiar turf for us. Only a mile or so south of Alki Beach, near the Vashon Ferry terminal, did we finally venture onto new terrain. It turns out there’s a giant hill there. Who knew?

Fortunately, after the giant hill there is Endolyne Joe’s, a restaurant which features a different region of the Americas every few months with a special menu and extensive decor. When we went, they were paying tribute to New Orleans. And let me tell you, it looked like the French Quarter blew up inside the restaurant, in a good way. There were Mardi Gras beads and masks, giant paper mache jazz instruments, and street signs from the Crescent City.

We started off with an order of beignets which, as is right and proper, were served in a paper bag filled with way too much powdered sugar. The beignets also came with a delicious blueberry compote. They were hot and delicious. About as good as can be this far from Cafe du Monde.

The orders around the table varied. The Andouille sausage skillet with a Cajun pepper hash was excellent. The forager’s omlette was another favorite.

All in all, our trip to the Big Easy was an excellent way to recover from a weekend long run. We hear that the restaurant will turn its attention to Puerto Rico soon. We’ll have to come back.

Verdict

Food: 4 beignets out of 5
Wait time: low
Music: on point
Chill Factor: Laissez le bon temps rouler

Woodinville Cafe

Sat, 01 Jun 2019 00:00:00 +0000

Chooo chooooooooo!

Welcome to the Woodinville Cafe. The portions are big, but after 16 miles everyone cleared their plates.

The interior is decorated in charming train themes. Think Cracker Barrel but for train conductors. Old railway signs and advertisements and luggage racks (complete with actual luggage!) adorn the walls.

The great mystery is: Who’s luggage is this? What’s inside of it?

Some say the luggage comes from SeaTac, drawn from every corner of our great globe, the stuff that no one claimed after a few weeks of the poor bags slowly and sadly circling the luggage conveyor. If that’s true, then this luggage may be the luckiest to have ever been abandoned. In its new life, a suitcase or duffel bag now sits high on the wall, surveying the joy and happiness and bustle of a vibrant diner ecosystem. No longer does it need to slave for ungrateful travelers who barely notice its existence, indeed who had completely forgotten and abandoned it. Instead each day is filled with smiles and laughter bubbling up from customers and the friendly chit chat from servers and hosts as they take care of their patrons with a smile and prompt service.

This was our first time up in Woodinville, so we asked the locals what they thought of the place.

Susan Suitcase (a blue 40 year veteran of the luggage racks with a smart chrome finish) felt that the Woodinville Cafe is experiencing a golden age in omelets:

Look kids, I’ve been here a while and what you may not appreciate is the level of fluff that this joint has been able to pull off. You go to any other diner in this neck of the woods and you aren’t going to get this kind of fluffy omelet. Don’t get me wrong, even the Denny’s down the street can get a couple of light air bubbles, but this establishment is really taking things to the next level. I heard that last week in some new experiments they actually had an omelet that was so light, it FLOATED. Seriously, floating omelets! The kitchen went berserk. It was like trying to eat on the International Space Station or something. Eggs everywhere. I mean, I love light fluffy eggs, but things may be getting out of hand here. As our technological progress accelerates, it’s important that our reach not exceed our grasp!

Derek Duffel (a brown, heavy canvas fellow from the Nixon era) seemed disturbed by Susan’s account and tried to provide some more context:

Susan has been here a long time and seen some shit. You have to recognize that a diner is a busy place, lots going on, all sorts of folks coming in and out at all hours; weird stuff happens. I mean, we love Susan, but she’s coming unhinged. Literally. Like, they had to bring in the luggage repair guy and he ordered new hinges for her. I think we’ll stop hearing about all this space station nonsense once she’s back from the doc. At least, I hope so or they’ll have to retire her to the Value Village on the other side of the parking lot…

Logan, a rising star on the host staff, reassured us that the luggage, while quite friendly, was not actually sentient and that delirium and dehydration due to running 16 summer miles were more likely explanations for our experience. Logan was extremely friendly, got our food out promptly, kept the ice water flowing, and checked in frequently to make sure everyone at the table was recovering all right.

Verdict

Food: 3 diners out of 5
Not-too-loudness: 4 gentle nighttime clickety-clacks of the rails out of 5
Train-themed-ness: 5 “loco”-motives out of 5
Chill Factor: 5 delirious runners out of 5