I was post-undergraduate when I first patronized a restaurant that could feasibly be considered a diner. The police procedural dramas I watched (and re-re-rewatched) throughout secondary school heavily featured diners, so I was aware of the concept and of its importance to American culture, but alas, the opportunity to eat at one never presented itself to me.
Fast forward to the 30th year of my life, and I’ve patronized ones of them! Yes, ones, because I haven’t yet crossed above 10, even if you include IHOP and Waffle House. This is unsurprising if you consider that greasy food makes me rather queasy. But don’t let my relative inexperience or negative bias persuade you that I am unopinionated.
Pre-brunch
But first, let’s set the stage with the pre-brunch run. (We all know the brunch is the real main event at Race Condition Brunching.)
The conditions on this day winnowed our brave group down. The first 90 minutes of this run were plagued by 15-20mph consistent head-/cross-winds and its associated ~15 degrees of windchill, plus 35mph gusts and intermittent rain, hereafter referred to as water bullets. Ethan W., Jordan, and I were the only souls brave and dumb enough to meet at the start line.
Leg 1 began at Roosevelt with a deceptively tame segment around part of Green Lake. This smooth start was chased by the classic 80th street up-and-down before dropping to Golden Gardens via stairs. The route then hugged the water around south, gently cooked us on the uphill of Stone Way, and took us back around a quarter of Green Lake. We lost Jordan coming down from Golden Gardens, but we did pick up Nick and Chandra before starting Leg 2. To my great relief, the wind mellowed significantly at this point.
Leg 2 was a repeat of my last brunch review: the classic full Green Lake loop, run anti-clockwise, i.e., the only correct way.
I think we all sighed heavily with relief upon reaching brunch, ready to drown the memory of that run in a glut of buttery pancake syrup. And so we did.
The Dish Cafe
First of all, how cute and quaint is this logo? I do wonder about why children are sitting in a dish, and what kind of dish is large enough, and why the children are singing, and why the lines of the dish run through the children… Regardless, cute logo.
Upon entering, we found a fireplace and I staked my claim on a chair next to it, ready to stick my frozen little fingers straight into the flame. Highly recommend this spot on a cold day. Even if you don’t choose this seat, the restaurant is fairly small, so you may end up at this table anyways, by an utter misapplication of the Pigeonhole Principle.
The Food
It was passable. 6/10 bye.
Ok fine I’ll elaborate. Beginning with my standard first-visit brunch dish: Eggs Benedict, Hollandaise on the side.
I order my Eggs Benedict like this so I can manage the amount of Hollandaise sauce masking the other elements. Fat covers an abundance of Eggs Benedict sins. But not here. Laid bare, you can see that they used rather anaemic eggs and generous slices of Canadian bacon. The English muffins were toasted to perfection. Unfortunately, the Canadian bacon bore a thin, slightly off-putting sheen, the Hollandaise came lumpy and slightly congealed, and everything was a little undersalted.
I was disappointed by the size of the fruit cup too, given it was a $6+ surcharge to substitute for the default potatoes: 6 slices/pieces of berry, 6 small pieces of melon, a thin slice of orange, and one grape.
Another dish on the table, within fork-stab distance: Nicko’s Scramble, containing sausage links, mushrooms, green onions, cheddar, and sour cream. This was a lot better. The eggs had a fairly smooth texture, only a bit overcooked. We were served a healthy serving of each topping. The sausage carried sufficient flavor. My nitpicks are that I would have preferred the cheese a bit more melted and the sausage chunks cut smaller. But it was, all told, a pleasant bite. The grilled potatoes were cooked through and pleasantly soft on the inside. They were, however, perhaps a little undersalted, underspiced, greasy, and lacking the crisp I desired.
Also on the table: Fruit Bowl, French Toast, Blueberry Pancakes, Scrambled Eggs, and Bacon. I stole a bite of almost everything. Very serviceable french toast and pancakes. No complaints were heard around the table.
Verdict
Brunch-y-ness: 🍳🥞🥓☕ yeah this qualifies as brunch
RCR-ness: 7/10
Food quality: 5/10 I guess it’s fine for a diner?